What Type of Parent Are You?
How do you see yourself as a parent? When you picture your child as a grown and productive adult what do you see? Do you see a successful adult that contributes and serves their community to make this world a better place. The big
In my years as a coach of young athletes I have come to categorize parents. There are all kinds of parenting styles and they all have their strengths and weaknesses. The purpose of this blog is to help parents understand some of these strengths and weaknesses and be more aware of them so we can prevent the negative stuff. We often create a poisonous environment for our kids without even noticing it. So which one do you most demonstrate behaviors in and what can you do about it to help your child be successful in the game of life?
The Helicopter Parent
The Helicopter Parent is the hoverer. They swoop in when something goes wrong and makes sure nothing bad ever happens to them. This is the type of parent that overanalyzes every situation and moves to the home town of the college of the child’s choice. When a problem arrises in their life they swoop and take care of it before any harm is done. The good thing is they are always involved in every part of their life.
The problem with this is that the child is not allowed to learn and create on their own and often grows up with a super dependency of their parents because they have NOT been taught to deal with struggle and adversity in life. So as soon as something goes wrong they start depending on their parents to handle that adversity which can prevent the child from attempting to do their best in life.
The Champion Parent
The Champion Parent is the “Winner” Parent- If they win they have done great and if they lose they require practice after the game. This parent thinks that Winning at all cost is what will help my child be successful in life. They will learn the habits of what winners do and will enjoy it so much they will be successful in life. Enjoyment is NOT even in their vocabulary. These parents are the ones screaming at the refs at the games. They are so caught up in winning that they don’t know the negative effects of their yelling and acting out.
The problem is with the Champion Parent is they will not see their adverse effects until the child loses interest and refuses to play sports because of the tremendous emotional stress it causes the child. The parent thinks they are providing the best environment possible and the child sees it as I MUST WIN or I AM a LOSER.
The “To-Do-List” Parent
The To-Do-List Parent is the parent that must keep their kid busy at all times of the day. This is the parent that has scheduled out every minute of every day for them. Tutoring, Skills Lessons, Piano, Swimming, Homework, Dinner, Bedtime is a common occurrence with these children. I see these children as the “Zombies”. The zombie just shows up with no passion, energy, and drive and tries to make it through to the next thing. The good things is they get to experience many things hopefully finding the experiences they enjoy.
The problem is the parent is trying to provide the best opportunities for their children but their children just want to be kids. They want to be around friends and socialize with other kids their age. These kids often grow up isolated with very few close friends.
The DIY Parent
The Do It Yourself Parent is the parent that depends on the child to get everything done that they want to accomplish. If they want to try out for the baseball team they have to find ways to get the equipment, the money, and the ride to the ball park. This is usually a single parent family that is overloaded with work responsibilities and paying for rent, food, and necessities. Sometimes the DIY parent even relies on parents and friend to help raise the child. The strength of this parenting style is the child learns to deal with each situation, adversity, and learn to adapt to environments to become independent.
The problem with the DIY Parent is the relationship between the child and parent is usually very stressful because of the lack of time spent with one another as well as other economical responsibilities from the parent that linger over the family.
The “Golden Child” Parent
The Golden Child parent is the parent that thinks they have raised the perfect child. And even when there is a mistake from the child the parent often blames it on others. At athletic competitions these are the parents that scream at other kids because they didn’t get the ball enough or blame a lose on the other players for playing poorly.
The problem with the Golden Child Parent is the child often grows up without accountability. They make excuses for all of their mistakes and never accept responsibility. This is the child that goes off to college but ends up getting kicked out due to something they “didn’t” do.
Why the Parenting Post?
So why write this post in a sports performance and strength and conditioning site? Because we (this included me) often hinder our children from reaching their potential from our past experiences which are the predictor on how we treat our children and others. The trick is to be aware of this and learn to work on what we can so our children can be productive and successful adults.
Resources for Parents
Changing the Game Project